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Writer's picturePeter DeFazio

The Spiritual Journey

Updated: Feb 11, 2023

๐™๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ข๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™š ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™– ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™š๐™ง๐™š๐™ฆ๐™ช๐™ž๐™จ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ข๐™–๐™ ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฎ ๐™จ๐™ฅ๐™ž๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™–๐™ก ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™ค๐™œ๐™ง๐™š๐™จ๐™จ. ๐˜ผ๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™จ๐™ช๐™—๐™ค๐™ง๐™™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™ข๐™ฎ ๐™š๐™œ๐™ค, ๐™ข๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ก๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™– ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™š๐™ง ๐™œ๐™ง๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ง ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฃ ๐™ข๐™ฎ๐™จ๐™š๐™ก๐™›.


This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. And really, it needs no promotion: The 12-Steps associated with Alcoholics Anonymous and so many other recovery groups. But really, it is an ingenious--I would say inspired--program of recovery founded by Bill W., Bill Wilson, some hundred years ago.



I do not make a habit of speaking publicly about my recovery journey very often. Well, it is highly personal, right? But on the other hand, there is a saying in halls of AA and MA, and that is, "You are only as sick as your secrets." I agree with this sentiment. And coming from a Roman Catholic background and being aware of the secrecy. The harm it does, and the evil that is perpetuated by its continuation. John XXIII was onto something when he wanted to throw open the windows and let the let of the sun cleanse the Church. But alas, he never really got to finish what he began.


Back to recovery. AA and other 12-step groups do not need much in the way of introduction and promotion. They appeal through attraction and reputation. Which is great.


As I was writing this I was reflecting upon how cold it was outside today. Arctic weather, well below freezing. But here I am in a warm interior, with clean clothes and coffee. I have a lot to be grateful for. Ordinarily on a Saturday am--when the weather becomes more temperate--I attend an outdoor meeting.


So my journey began in August of 2020, but it was not a journey that I was compelled to take--not as the results of the kinds of consequences some people report having, whereby a spouse, an employer or a legal authority forces one into recovery. Nothing like that. I had been flying below the radar for a long, long time. But I wanted to stop and I was not able to end my addictive behavior on my own.


I had reached a point--the bottom--where I had the recognition, finally, that I was powerless over my disease of addiction. I wanted to stop and I could not. And so I reached out to another person, asked for help, and the journey began. An unexpected spiritual voyage whereby I had to surrender my life, my will, to a power greater than myself, the God of my understanding. That is it in a nutshell.

The AA literature and that of most 12-Step groups refers to the God of ones understanding. Interestingly, at a meeting I was recently at we had a discussion about changing the name of God in our AA literature to Higher Power. At first, I was indifferent to this. It occurred to me that God probably does not care how we refer to him or her or it. But, upon further reflection as I mulled over the proposal these past few days, I began to lean toward no change. Keep it as God, in other words. Why? What was my rationale?


The terminology in the 12-Step literature that refers to God in a few places--is rather generic. And I do respect those who do not say the name of God, or do not have a theistic belief, or believe in and pray to Goddess, or Allah, or Jesus, or some other name of the deity. But isn't that the beauty and the ingeniousness of the book first published in 1939 by Bill W. He was prescient enough to use the phrase "God of one's understanding."


I am such an admirer of this book--Alcoholics Anonymous--and I even got myself a re-print of the 1939 edition--it is a wellspring of spiritual insights, and yes, 100-year old American English can be difficult to read at times. Some of the terminology is archaic. And every now and again, revised editions do update the terminology somewhat. But I would err on the side of caution when tinkering with such an inspired set of writings, that has had decades of profound and far-reaching impact on the lives of many. Let's not tinker too much or we might lose something of value.



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